Episode 25 - Run

Me is what I call myself - it's easier I find - than Adolph or Napoleon - who clearly lost their mind

I found that I was free at last - to go about my business - the prospect filled me up with hope - and a fair amount of dizzyness

"Are you there God?" I call out loud - as I lie in the dark - but no....it's just a backward God - and he let's out a bark

A scarper is a useful tool - for getting off wall paper - unless I've mixed it up again - and meant to say a scraper

I didn't eat for weeks and weeks - existing on fresh air - I don't know why I did it - but I think it was a dare

This lovely little fella - has set me on my way - I'm free to go to where I want - I'll go there right away!

"Never ever ever owe!" - my Grandma used to say - So I stuck to the other vowels - avoiding O all day

A nice rewarding job I'd like - in 'Customer Relations' - I'd like to be a Doctor but - I'd never have the patients

Here's a sketch of what went on - as I left my old tree - it looks as though I'm running - but I'm bent down on one knee

Episode 24 - Almost

I used to be so careless - was always saying sorry - but it was really so much worse - each time I drove a lorry
I find when you have to go - there's really nothing better - adding wetness to the earth - and thus releasing pressure
"Is this a bloody sell-out?" - I ask myself out loud - the blatant mention of 'Yahoo' - that big search engine crowd!

Once I did contain myself - within a big square box - but all that my poor nose could smell - was slowly rotting socks

A doctor that I went to see - when I once tripped and fell - dug three big holes in his back yard - and then said "Well! Well! Well!"

I almost once was famous - I'd primed myself just right - I read what all the critics said - but they said I was shite

It's like old Humpty's sister - who's not mentioned at all - because she only 'almost' fell - and that don't count at all

I had a dream the other night - that I'd eaten my pillow - when I awoke with teeth all broke - and a half chewed Armadillo

Going to the shops each day - is something that I hate - I always go at 9pm - which really is too late

I had a brilliant memory - it really was first class - I helped the cops out lots of times - as their new supergrass

Episode 23 - Dissolve

I held my breath will all my might - trusting the little critter - after moments I knew that - I may soon need the shitter!

Sometimes I spell properly - and sometimes I do not - and if you do not like it - you can stuff it up your bott!

Look! Here's me with puffy cheeks - I think I look so funny - with luck you won't see lower down - that's where my cheeks get runny

I once knew a spoilt fella - who had ADHD - he'd run around just shouting out - "Hey! People - LOOK AT ME!"

When eyes are shut you must rely - on all your other senses - like old blind walkers when they sit - down on electric fences

There's nothing quite like pissing - it's really rather fun - to squirt your piss up some big wall - then watch the bugger run

I knew a girl called 'toxic' - she was a fucking freak - I knew when she was happy coz - my nipples she would tweak

Many years I spent in clink - locked up with nasty blokes - experiences turned me bad - so I relied on jokes

I'm Happy now the time has come - where I can taste some freedom - like Adam said when he was passed - an apple made in Eden

At this point I was so happy - so filled up inside with glee - then those words hit me real hard - and I just thought "Oh Dear!" ("Fuck Me!")

Episode 22 - Countdown

Like a vibro dark and sleek - I'm looking rather well - all I need now are two big - batteries from Duracell

It's always good to Go somewhere- exciting sights to see! - but though the going's very nice - the coming's best for me

When locked inside a torture box - I always feel quite anxious - I wonder when the time will come - when they come back to spank us

I know a careless man who has - a bump upon his head - he walked into a door you see - before he went to bed

I learnt to Gulp whilst still at school - drinking half-warm milk - you swallow hard and it goes down - as smooth as any silk

I'd know one when I saw it - it stands up all alone - it hasn't got no arms or legs - so cannot use the phone

I used to hold my breath for hours - but it would hurt my head - one day I "huppped!" for far to long - and ended up quite dead

He jumped up suddenly at me - and then ran up my body - but I was still chained up so it felt - really very oddy

Episode 21 - Help

Everybody hated him - because he was so little - but he would bravely front them out - and cover them in spittle

I had a lovely lady once - said she was my 'home help' - she'd come around, rip off my clothes - and make me scream and yelp

I new a man whose speciality - was dressing as a tree - he ended up in hospital - straightjacketed like me

I won't eat tongue of animal - it seems quite gross to me - it's been inside some creatures mouth - I'll stick to eggs for tea

My mother used to run things up - like clothes, to save us money - I think my Mother's turned Chinese - and that seems rather funny

As a child I got told - he who asks don't get - it hasn't changed me thru the years - I ain't stopped asking yet

If you get trapped inside a box - with very little air - you can create more space inside - by shaving off your hair

Dead is such a horrid thing - and really rather final - they suck the soft bits from your skin - and turn them into vinyl

I had a watch once long ago - I wore it on my wrist - it worked from movement so I had - to try to fuck my fist

"I'm free" I cried from my push chair - so glad to be alive - "That's nothing!" called out my friend Fred - "Coz I have just turned five!"

Episode 20 - Crying

I love to make sounds with my mouth - and sometimes with my bottom - Some are very memorable - and some are best forgotten
Crying is a brilliant way - to clear the eye's tearducts - the other way is to get a whip - and slap around your nuts!
I really like to interupt - when people are so busy - I talk to them of underwear - and tell them I'm called Lizzie

A plant can be a stubborn friend - refusing to grow big - so if yours plays you up like that - just hit it with a twig

I can see alot of things - with my new x ray specs - I put them on and stroll around - and stare at ladies pecs

Somewhere over the rainbow - blue birds fly - but I can never see them coz - I've raindrops in my eye

I like a bargain anytime - the 'money off' attracts - I bought a coat with just one sleeve - from "20% off Macs"

In jail I met a midget - on a fake clairvoyant charge - he did a bunk so they looked for - a small medium at large

Don't you feel this character - is a wasp without a chin? - have u got better characters? - if so just send 'em in!